Friday, February 28, 2003

The Colonoscopy

I wasn't surprised the doctor had ordered this test. Like I said, I had figured all of this out way back in December. I was a bit taken aback at how soon she wanted it done! I went home. I worked out leave from work. I went to have my last solid meal before the test at Waffle House. Clearly, that was the best meal to hold me for the better part of two days right?

Then off to the drugstore and the grocery store for special prep supplies! These are the the goodies from the drugstore. Of course, my local drugstore didn't have the nice all in one kit. Grocery store purchases were made...clear juices, gatorade (not red),ginger ale, jello. Those were the "foods" I was allowed to have the next day while I enjoyed the prep.

The next day dawned bright and early. Clear liquid day. Then midday...I get to start using all the nice stuff from the drug store. Phospho-Soda mixed with gingerale. The first swig isn't the time you get to finishing the bottle many hours later you are sure it is the worst stuff ever invented. Actually, that realization comes earlier. I followed the directions though. I spent more time than I want to admit in the bathroom. Fortunately, by the next morning I was running "clear" which is what they wanted as a I didn't have to use an enema to top off the phosphosoda and Dulcolax.

Very groggy, out of it and grouchy, I went to have the test done. More waiting. More history. Undress. Put on the special hospital nightgown. Wait some more. IV inserted. Wait some more. I get rolled down the hall and into this tiny room where my gi doctor and her assistant await. She makes friendly how are you doing small talk. I growl about the prep that tries to kill you off. She smiles and pats my head. Assistant starts administering the meds to put me under for the test. I ask her what on earth made her choose this line of doctoring. She laughed and said it was just one of those things.

Next she says, I am going to start inserting this as she does just that. YOUCH! That hurt. More than I figured such a thing would. I complain. More drugs and then more. Next thing I know I am in recovery. They handed me a coke. Then the doctor came and told us what she saw and had done. She said Ulcerative Colitis or Crohn's Disease. She had taken a biopsy and would get back to me. In the meantime, she made orders for a small bowel study. That is about all I remember of what she said and only that in bits. Thankfully, my girlfriend was there to listen to all of that. (even more thankfully she was sympathetic through the whole prep thing!)

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